Vaultus Five

I know I said that all blog entries here would be at least a thousand words and I promise whoever’s reading this that I am working on that. But I dusted off the old blog recently and found a conversation transcript that made me laugh. Given everything that’s happened these last few days, that’s pretty rare.

We’ll return to regularly scheduled blogging. For now, enjoy this flashback of the silliest conversation I have had about family members (and why I am forever going to be single as fuck.)

==============================

This Place is Haunted? House-o?

Pumanaw lola ni Jon Huwebes kaya ilan sa amin dumalaw sa lamay. Ayaw din aminin ni Miko na nagandahan siya sa isang pinsan ni Jon habang naroon kami. Kaya hindi ko alam ko paano (o bakit) nagsimula ‘to:

M: May lakad ba tayo Lunes? Walang pasok tsaka trabaho.

C: Di ko lang alam. Pero alam ko lahat ng may irog at sinta di libre. Pag-isipan ko pa.

M: Sige. Pag-wala, hibernate lang ako sa bahay. Inuumaga ako madalas dahil Lola’s Trip to Heaven

C: Sa bagay. Kahit di natin nakilala, pagdasalan natin lola ni Jon…..COUSIN heaven there is no beer. PINSAN lang totoo.

M:  AUNT that the truth. And FATHER record, that was a good one

C: It was one INA million. sAMA lang. Humihirit tapos DADbol* lola ni Jon.

M: Napakagrim nga. Di taya naka FAMILY ng magandang topic at timing sa biro natin. Buti kung di PAMILYAr sa atin yung namatayan.

C: It’s kinda UNCLEd for to talk about the recently deceased like that huh? Sana di tayo mumultohan. It’s KU, YA?

M: It’s cool. ImpoSIBLING di tayo magkaintindihan dun. It wouldn’t make anINCEST if we didn’t agree on that.

C: Kung ganon eh di ATEn-ATEn lang mga hirit. The guilt won’t be much of a a BUN,SO that’s some guilt lessened.

M: Good call. SISTERiffic.

C: PAPAnget din tingin ni Tita Menchu (nanay ni Jon) kung nalaman niya humihirit tayo ng ganito. Basag ulo natin. Kita ko nga kanina may bote ng GRANDMAtador brandy.

M: MaLOLOka talaga.

C: BABY….or BABY not. We just shouldn’t say these ribs out loud. INFANT, she won’t know a thing.

M: …..concede.

———————

* Bihira mo na marinig ang salitang “Dedbol” ‘no? Sabi nga “Pang 90s talaga”

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